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shameless whinging ahead
Thursday, April 8, 2010, 5:43 AM
as promised. read title.unaccomplished I do feel.
I just did some unmitigated stalking of my classmates. and well anyhow some of them draw *so* well. yeah. and then.. some do insane sports and alllll that other stuff. and my maths tuition teacher is endorsing the transfer of us, her students, to an IP school. And I feel useless. and I complain if I have to stay back. and I'm not even in a stressful-type school. and I feel like y'all are all going to grow up to be successful, with high-paying salaries, while I squat in a corner of Chinatown or somewhere with a bowl to collect pennies(or 1-cent coins, or 5-cent coins, since they stopped producing 1-cent coins..?).
ugh. I feel like I can't really elaborate. And when I do so to my own satisfaction, nobody understands me unless it's written down.
I want to do something to make myself feel more accomplished. Ugh. Learn some insanely complex piano piece. Or write some best-selling novel. I read recently of this person who got published at thirteen:p ARRRRRGH
Oh, and my cousin from Germany, Melissa (Mueller, I WANNA THAT SURNAME) came to S'pore. So my family, excluding me, because I was sitting at home doing work that other people had a lot more of, feeling sorry for myself and just stupid, went to Universal Studios. And they got me a Madagascar-penguin themed watch, which I wore today. [insert smiley face here which I will not put because this is a depressed/depressing post, thank you very much] I know all their names and can recognise them individually. Heh.heh.
I just want to feel less unremarkable, yet despicable, right now.:( see there? a sad face.
arrrrrghmuaaaaargggggh
I have a maths test tomorrow. Today I had a chinese test which I gave the crappiest answers to in the compre section because I was running out of time. And I had a chemistry test to. Which - guess what? I didn't know we hadO.o:( but I think I did okay. But I didn't know about it. which forebodes even more depressingness of days. And we're having a maths test tomorrow. In the com lab. which probably forebodes.. complicatedness. To the extreme.
I just wanna use sad smileys.:(
Someone tell me why my IQ is supposedly high. To GEP-enter. but I don't manage grades at all.
And why I have such bad problems presenting in public.
And why I'm not talented in at least some way.
And why I'm falling asleep in classsssss:( the first time ever. That I've fallen asleep in two or more (yes, it was rather a few more) in classes. Ten-second naps. But the geog teacher said quietly, and non-offensively at least, to a seat-neighbour, like I looked like I was dying:( That was after class ended, so it wasn't sarcasticly directed towards me at least. Just a comment. I thought it was funny. But I donut want to appreciate anathing right now.
The name 'Magnus Payne' keeps popping into my mind. I don't know why. I know he's a freaky villian from Ark Angel who has a globe tattoed on his head. His name is stuck in my brain:(
Novelizations are written well. I want everyone to know that! Movie novelizations, and even game novelizations! which I've only read one of. Halo. but all are awesome. I guess because they have a large fan base, but at the same time nobody thinks they'll be written well at all, that's why they are? Meh.
I feel so freaky in MGS.
Mom is going to the office a lot these days:( so I don't see that much of her. And she comes home, and feeds and brings down Nico. And then she has to do chores, and then she sleeps for about five hours a day. No kidding, and it's like, from 2 to six, then she sometimes has some time to sleep for another hour or so. If not, she has to just go on. It's horrible, and I'm glad the weekend is coming so she can, and better get some sleep.
I don't even have a vague idea of what I want to do when I grow up. Emphasizing the possibility of the squatting-in-Chinatown possibility. Ugh.
And Michelee came to MGS yesterday, and she WAITED about? AN HOUR. she says she did maths homework. but michelee you SACRIFICE TOO MUCH FOR ME.
I am already hungering for the June holidays. Two months away. weep, everyone.
and michelee, this isn't a reluctant blog post. yay, yay.
And that reminds me of Yayap, a Grunt. That's an alien race in Halo. I love Grunts. Cuteness. Although I know they breathe methane and are cowards. Endears them more to me, really. Anyway, Yayap is the awesomest name ever. He's featured in the Halo novelization.
Some people say they had/have imaginary friends. I wish I could create one. But I probably wouln't - have the will, energy, which-whatever, to keep up the imagining of what she would say to me.
Now Imma done emoing so bye y'all suckas